This is the first week of what we are calling, MARRIAGE MONTH! On June 30th we will be celebrating 31 years together, so we thought we’d do a fun “How well do you know your spouse challenge” and give marriage tips that we have learned over the years.
HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW YOUR SPOUSE?
CHRIS: How long have we been married?
DEBRA: 31 years. We just celebrated our anniversary on June 30.
CHRIS: Do remember our wedding day?
DEBRA: There was a big sign on our truck that said, “In memory of Chris.” It’s true. I wanted to get married, like, two months after we started dating, but he was a little afraid of me… I think.
CHRIS: So what attracted you to me?
DEBRA: It was this legs. And then I found out he was a really smart too!
DEBRA: What attracted you to me?
CHRIS: I’ll circle back around. So what do you think of when you think of me?
DEBRA: You’re my rock. You’re steady, safe, comforting… you’re like my corral that I need so bad.
CHRIS: So I think what attracted me to you was, your’re crazy. That’s probably not the word to use, but you’re the opposite of steady.
DEBRA: What do you think I would love for a vacation?
CHRIS: You’re a mountain girl.
DEBRA: Yes. If we have to put on boots and jackets, and drink coffee and hike in the mountains that’s the best.
CHRIS: SO where did we spend our last vacation?
DEBRA: In the South Dakota hills, the Black Hills. And my husband would like to lay on a beach. In the sane. Or in the water.Sand, just in the water. He swims like a frog and I don’t even float so…
CHRIS: So that’s why what what do you think my favorite song is?
DEBRA: You don’t have a favorite song.
CHRIS: Really?
DEBRA: You don’t. Chris loves ballads. It’s the story and the feeling that comes into it. And he’s a Johnny Cash fan which is so adorable.
DEBRA: What’s my favorite song?
CHRIS: You like Dolly Parton, praise and worship music, and the song Cowboy Take me away by the Dixie Chicks.
CHRIS: WHAT’S MY FAVORITE MOVIE?
DEBRA: That’s hard to say too. His palate is laid wide, okay. So I would say that you have watched a couple of movies more than other movies over and over again. And he never gets tired of them, which is Lonesome Dove. And then you’d love Independence Day, and then Tombstone.
RELATIONSHIP ADVICE
What is your piece of advice to other couples?
DEBRA: The first thing that I think of is, you can’t do it without God. A lot of people can have a healthy marriage, but they live by biblical principles. And they’re not even Christians, but they live by biblical principles. And so God’s Word works, whether you’re a Christian or you’re not. In a marriage, you have to have that as your center. Now, for it to be beyond successful, something that’s beyond just getting along and doing the right things and, and enjoying one another is that deep, committed feeling. I love God more than I love my husband, and he loves God more than he loves me.
CHRIS: Because our life can be pretty crazy and pretty serious a lot of times, I am learning not to take things too serious, and not to take things too personal. Life happens. And we’re best friends. We just roll with it, make up quickly, keep short accounts, and just keep moving forward. And laugh a lot.
Disagreements On the Way to Church
CHRIS: How many fights have we had on our way to church?
DEBRA: I think there’s too many to count in 20 years of going to church every Sunday.
CHRIS: But those disagreements, were they usually about profound things or about nothing?
DEBRA: They were usually about nothing. That’s called a spiritual attack.
CHRIS: Yeah. The enemy hates it that we get along, when we are cohesive with one another, and when we go to church. So when we had our “few” disagreements on the way to church, was it usually on Sundays or on Wednesdays?
DEBRA: It could be both. Especially when you’re going into the house of God to minister to other people. And the enemy wants to stop you dead in your tracks, because there’s something very profound about shaking somebody up.
CHRIS: Many times when we’ve had arguments on the way the church is, as we’re bickering about nothing, a lot of times we will surely not say hurtful things, but sometimes hurtful things come out. And when we do that, we’re bringing hell up into our relationship. And that I always picture when we’re bickering like that, or having an argument I picture the enemy, Satan over here in the corner, laughing and carrying on as we’re doing that. But the cool thing is, is as we push past that, and even when it’s really really, really difficult, and to sometimes force ourselves to get into church, what we’re immediately doing is now we’re inviting Heaven down. And as as we invite heaven down, then then that’s when the forgiveness and those kinds of things can happen.
DEBRA: And so many times, there’s a reconciliation, and we resolved it. And we go into church, and we’re in worship, and I look over and my husband, and he has his hands in the air, and he is praising God. And I’m thinking, why would I argue with him? You know, he just loves God so much. And that’s the most important thing. I can trust that that he’s going to lead our family to God. And that’s something I can always count on.